My Life in Review: Have I been Lucky or What?

A Poem read at Dr. Crandall's retirement dinner in 1984

Ode to an Aging Alliterator

A Poem Penned for a Parting Pedagogue by a Privileged Partisan

John Crandall's conviction to retire

calls forth both sadness and celebration

A ceremony certain to inspire

an arduous allotment of alliteration

For 37 years you've sagaciously served

and scintillated scads of students

Never brawled with boring bureaucrats

nor profaned presidents with imprudence

Appearing in Brockport in '48

a pedant still in post-pubescence

You pixilated all around

with your prolix and precocious presence

Turbulent or troublesome times

you tamed with taciturnity

While married young with Jill succumbed

to practicing paternity

A teacher with a talent

for tergiversating the trivial

Your colleagues could count on a competent chap,

courteous, cultured and convivial

You proclivity on the platform

to alliteration and onomatopoeia

distinguishes your palaver

from declamatory diarrhea

Your penchant to pontificate

provokes polysyllabic pleasures

with your sequipedalian prattle

and your truly tongue-tamed treasures

As dean your dauntless dealings

were decisive, deft, and diligent

T'was well deserved when Al Brown conferred

the title of Vice President

From power tower to happy hour

you proved you were a mensh

To save repute you bade retreat

before the word retrench

You recommended departmental chores

and classic Clio's labors

the Crack-Jack of FOB

the creme de la creme of creditable neighbors

Your wallop never weakened

as your hair handsomely whitened

Still wont to weighty words of wit

your histrionics heightened

Hale and hearty habitue

and heavyweight on tennis court

You hustled jocks into your hooks

by heralding history of sport

And running bases you refined

and tied into your teaching

the jock and jocular you refined

like Billy Sunday preaching

Your office always open

scores of students you'd entice

Who'd form a line long before nine

for counsel and advice

Charisma, charm and chuckles

in your classes struck a chord

And countless kind encomiums

chalked your Chancellor's Award

You never shrank from service

from committee chores to Senator

With sunny smile you greeted all

from president to janitor

And as you leave your colleagues grieve

from Power Tower to Hartwell Basement

Our lugubrious loss is lamentable

We'll ne'er find your replacement

As you hasten from these hallowed halls

our sadness stirs assuaging

in cherishing Crandall in his prime

like wine improved by aging

And so your friends are gathered here

in sentimental celebration

we wish you luck, good health, God-speed

and a hundred years of alliteration

To close this valedictory

good-bye would be morose

In confidence that you'll keep close-by

we'll just say adios

by Jim Horn

Click here to see a photo of Dr. Crandall with alumni of the Peace Corps/College Degree Program taken at his retirement dinner in 1985.

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